Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
