just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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