We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
