Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
