Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
