summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
