someone get that fucking seahorse.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
