Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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