I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
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She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
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We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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