The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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