hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
