Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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