I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
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I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
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why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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