I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Dignity is for republicans.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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