3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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