the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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