That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
