we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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