you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
