one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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