how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize