I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
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No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
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You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
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