Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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