I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
