Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I think your dad took our porno
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
