YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
