I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
