HIV tests are more positive than that guy
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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