How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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