So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
