maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
