I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I puked a lego.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Come share oat with me in your robe
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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