I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
