She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize