Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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