well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
