Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize