Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize