She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize