I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
sex on a bike is impossible
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is