Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
