I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
