She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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