Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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