so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
