guys are not supposed to queef...right?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
