Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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