she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
