I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
