We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize