I got chris browned last night
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
