I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Randomize
