haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
