i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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