Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
