There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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