happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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