mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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