So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
